Who is fighting for your kids attention?

Hope everyone hope you enjoyed the holidays.  I realized something while I was with my wife's family in Michigan.  She comes from a large family and every year at Christmas time they all get together. One thing I have been blessed with for as long as I can remember is my love for kids.  I have just always seemed to attract kids around me.  I know its because I am such a funny looking guy... but hey it works.   But while there with them I was challenged.  If you are like me when a young child wont warm up to you it bothers me....Its a  challenge to me as a children's pastor that I must win.  My wife's cousin  has a little girl who is very shy.She would not leave her parents arms, where she knew she was safe .But I couldn't let it go I had to get her attention. I tried and tried to just get a smile, doing everything I could think of. After an hour of me being pretty stupid...she laughed! YES!!!!  With one little laugh I knew there was hope. Within the next 30 minutes we were in the floor playing together.  I had used every trick that I had.  Exhausted all of my options and finally it had worked.  By the end of our time there if I would walk out of the room she would come get me by the hand and lead me back to where she had my full attention.  With a big hug goodbye we left.
But here is what happened next  I grabbed my kids, threw them in the car and made the trip back, not paying much attention to them. Just ready to hurry up with the rest of my day.  

Since then all that is been in my head is  questions
.
Do I  fight for my kids attention that hard?
Do I pull out all the tricks to keep their attention?
Do I work that hard just to get a small smile?
When they do smile does it mean that much?
If I don't have my kids attention,  Who does?

I think sometimes as a children's pastor we work so hard on everyone else's kids that we forget about our own.  As a father I MUST be my kids Dad first before anybody else's pastor or friend.

So here is my challenge for myself and you.
Make sure you are in your kids lives.
Make sure they smile.
Make sure they know you love them, care for them, and are always not to busy for them.
Keep you priorities right... Family First!

My 7 Rules on Being Creative

My 7 Rules on Being Creative

1.  Create out of need not out of want….   I remember just starting out in children’s ministry I would try to find an awesome game or experiment or visual then would try to fit a bible story to it.  That is so backwards- create something after your biblical work is done!

2.  You don’t have to try to keep out doing yourself. I still struggle with this; just because you did some mind-blowing creation doesn’t mean that you have to outdo that creation next time. Just do what you do and it will be awesome.

3.  Sometimes we have to except things are just good enough!  I have a problem with perfection.  I want to be in control of everything and not allow others to help me.  I worry that they may screw it up or that it won’t look as good as if I did it.  Let go and let others help.  Let a youth paint something for you; teach them how to be creative.  In the end even if it isn’t as good as perhaps you would have done, they got more out of helping then anybody probably got out of the project.

4.  Be Risky….   Great things come with great Risk.  Don’t hold back!  If you fail you fail.  You will live to create another day!

5.   Befriend someone scary.  Put yourselves around people that aren’t like you.  They will make you think in ways you never knew you could.  Creativity comes from many different avenues and other creative people are one of those avenues.

6.  Take a walk and just dream.  I get all kinds of looks at me, this big guy, spending an hour walking around crafts 2000.  Go to a store and just dream.  Go to Lowes and look at pvc piping and then paint colors get your creative juices flowing.

  

7.  You have to have a lot of TIME-ENERGY-MONEY!  But you have to have 2 of these to be creative.  Especially if you are  being creative on a budget, you can still be creative.  You can do things cheap but it will still cost you time and energy.  You will get out what you put in, it costs something somewhere.

Where are all the men at?

Has anyone else noticed the huge absence of men in church today?  I sat back a few weeks ago in a church service and realized how many ladies were sitting by themselves.  Was it because they were widows?  Yes, in fact some of them are.  But what about the middle aged women that had rings on their fingers? Where are their husbands? As a staff member of the church, have I even met their husbands before?  As I walked over to the children’s ministry building to go have fun with some kids (because as a kids pastor it’s not just my job it’s my life, it’s what I do) I realized looking around, how many of my kids that I see on a weekly basis don’t even have fathers at home.  Wow maybe half!   I mean we have our normal families that I can count on each week to come in with smiling faces and wearing their Sunday best, the kids toting bibles in hand and their memory verses memorized.  But what about the kid that has no dad, his mom is a stripper, and he is just surviving by getting passed around through friends and family not knowing where he will sleep next.  Does he have a shot at life?  Am I really one of the only positive Christian role models he has?  

So here is the answers I came to after so many questions.   I need help!   As a male children’s pastor I need Godly men to be more involved in ministry! For every man that’s involved in their own child’s life, there are 2 fathers that are absent.  It seems to me that men suck at church we take no ownership in it.  We think we can just come in and sit through a service and never dedicate any of ourselves to it.  But I believe it is time for men to step up and step out in ministry! Adopt some kids under you so you can train them up in the eyes of the Lord.  So on this fathers day I challenge you men.  For most of us the reason that we have stayed in church is because sometime in your past you  had a man that was instrumental in our Christian walk.  He challenged you to grow in your walk with God.  Men have you returned that favor? Have you taken a child under you and poured your life into them.  God has called us to step up and lead!

The morning after pill?

Have you ever had one of those nights that you just needed to forget?  Either you said something or did something that you knew you shouldn't have.    Many times in ministry we come home from church and wish we would have said something different or not said something.  We held back in our message or were wrong for preaching at that one person that's always the trouble maker.   Or even more we feel that everybody hates us nobody respects us, and nobody has bought into the vision we have cast. So many times that affects our ministry for the rest of the week!   So why can’t there be a pill to swallow to end the hurt that we have caused on others or ourselves?  To forget the negative thoughts in our head, and just Move on.  

Well there is it’s called swallowing your pride and moving on!    It’s not about YOU!  I think so many times in ministry we focus on what we think, or how we did.   When really we have just tried to limit God, God is big enough to use a BIG stupid guy like me in a powerful way.  If we have swallowed our pride the morning after and spent time in prayer then forget it.  As pastors we have focused so much attention on how many kids in my ministry were in attendance or if the experiment that we have worked on all week actually worked that we have taken the emphasis on God showing up in us.  

I have been pushing my leaders in realizing that in the outreach ministry we do on Wednesday nights who cares how many kids peed their pants or how bad they smelled like cat pee, or how many fights broke out.   We win if our kids were in a safe place (which they don't have at home), they had fun, they saw Jesus in us and in our lesson and they made friends; if we accomplished this among everything else that happened that night then we won.  So the next time you have the morning after blues, suck it up swallow you pride and pray for the situations.  Look back and reflect on that days happenings, even if you had a bad service, outing or event- you still probably WON!  

I am HUNGRY

OK so we are now like 52hrs in to our church fast.....   AND I AM HUNGRY!!!!!!    I have been thinking about how hungry I am, and I have realized a few things.  First as a small (300 pound) guy I spend alot of my time eating and don't realize it.  Second I haven't died yet without food!   It can be done.  But more importantly I have realized how crappy my prayer life really is.  I haven't prayed as passionately as I have the last couple days in a long time.  I haven't asked for any huge things in my prayer life for awhile.  Maybe I have become lax in my faith or just use the excuse of being too busy, so I rush through a quick prayer a couple times a day and feel like that is adequate enough.  But what has hit me hard is thinking about how hungry I am physically, is that how hungry I am spiritually.  Is the pain in my stomach sharper then the pain in my heart for the lost?  Its funny but not eating food engages so many other senses; my nose can smell for a mile away.  But does my nose smell the lost and trigger my brain to reach out to them?  Has my prayer life really just became like my eating style,  just what’s ever in the fridge or whatever is fast and gives me a quick fix is good enough?   Have I really been praying for things hard enough, long enough or with enough faith to matter?   No I have been sucking at my prayer life and wondering why things are not going the way I wish they would.  

Are many of us Christians in this boat praying so lackadaisical that we forget even how to really cry out to God or to ask for his blessing for our marriages, children and churches!  So I have turned up the heat in my prayer life and have already seen some miracles that I usually just don’t see.   God has already done some amazing things and this fast is only a quarter of the way in.  I pray that this is just the start of my new life in prayer that when this fast ends my prayer life will keep going stronger.  I would see God clearer and he would use me to do some mighty things in his name!

So here are the big things I am praying for…

1.      That here at the Tree house children’s Ministry we would be a safe place for children to come and get away from the problems, violence and neglect in the world.  That we are in some way reaching every home around the church to break this poverty, welfare mentality!

2.     That over the next 6 months that 5 of our elementary principals will know our church and people by name as willing to go the extra mile for them.

3.     That the tree house logo will be seen as a brand that people know and trust in the community! 

4.     That man under the age of 40 will step up in leadership in the church and especially children’s ministry.

5.     That this fall we will take a big 1 day event to the big government housing apartments on Southside and reach out to the hundreds of kids who are told they have no hope.

The Monday after CPC hangover!

Not only did I leave the warm weather in Florida, to come home to 20 degree weather, but after being around so many great leaders-you feel the let down.  As I sit here I found myself wishing that I was in some one else's shoes.  We sit and think about how the guy at the bigger church has it easier or makes more money or has to be better then you cause he has more children in his ministry.  But after a God size slap in the face!  I came back to reality.  Why do we feel the need to try to size people up?  One thing I learned is the guys that I looked up to, the guys I dream about being, are just normal guys.  The reason they got to where they are is, they are humble!  They are just normal guys they have their own problems that come with where they are.  On the way to the airport I was on a bus with Justyn Smith....who I think is an amazing man of God I was so impressed with his kind words and affirmation.  He is where he is today because of his humility in leadership.  Sam Luce is another one, he is a man that I wake up every morning looking to see if he has a new blog post, or some new insight.  After sitting in 2 of his conferences I was glad to see his heart.  Finally, I have so much respect with where Michael Chanley is taking INCM in a great direction.  I was only able to shake his hand and thank him for what he does but in that short time looking in his eyes, I know he is real!

So this Monday morning hangover after CPC is real!  We have been around so much hype and awesome worship and great speakers, and now back to reality.   Wherever you are, you're doing Gods work which is a divine calling no matter the size of your church or weather other children's pastors know your name or not.  So what am I doing to battle this hangover?   Praying!   Praying for my ministry to grow not in numbers but in children's lives coming to Christ!  Yesterday we started a church wide 2 week  fast.  As pastors were Hungry for some things to happen in our church,  were praying for lives to come to know God were praying for our church to grow,  were praying that we will have broken ground on our new building by the end of the year,  were praying for our youth and children and leaders!  Also, for me I am praying for male leadership in my church and in this country.  I have a passion to see men step up in leadership.  Being at  CPC we saw the lack of male leadership.  As men we need to step up and be men of faith!   So I am praying for all of you who are in leadership in the world,  I'm praying for your ministries and your churches.  Were are all in it for the same goal!  Think what we can do together!  Get over the hangover and get busy where you serve, for God has placed you there for a reason!